Caution To The...Ground?

Just when you thought it was safe to live. Sure people shoot folks daily for turf, hand signs, territory, oil, and no clear reason at all. But who would ever think that a sinkhole would scare the salt out of a human. I'm declaring war on all past and future sinkholes! 

This is getting out of hand and if Nancy Reagan can battle crack in the 80s, I can fight sinkholes. I will soon petition all cities in America to investigate every piece of land they own to make sure the next time I'm walking down Spruce Street in West Bubble Indiana, I won't fall victim to a hole in the ground that instantly appears.

Brooklyn, your first on my petition list!