Big Pimping

Dear Mr. Bezos,

Please take all of my money. I just ordered all of my son’s Christmas gifts in ten minutes and the click of button. I tend to be picky and indecisive so it lasted 5 minutes longer than it should have. 

For my over 30 readers. Do you understand and remember a time when you had to drive to the store and pray to the consumer God’s they still had the shit you wanted???? 

On top of that, don’t let there be something else that catches your eye, your fucked! Now what to do? Get both? Go with the original plan? 

I just literally walked down a virtual isle in the Disney store and picked up toys left and right. This, that, those, annnnnnnnd done. I didn’t have to put on a coat, get in my car, find a park, smell someone next to me who stinks in the store, cut a damn coupon, none of that forced social-ness. 

Just for kicks I looked at my order history and I’ve been ordering from Amazon since I had an aol email...ages my G ages. I’ve ordered food, fraternity paraphernalia, vent filters for the house, iPhone cases, drugs, cars, homes, everything of this joint. 

Married to the game.