Hear Ye Hear Ye

Lessons learn for the betterment of next year’s holidays...listen up!

1. Get drunk. I mean just do it. It’s a celebration right? I dove in the pool then got right out for fear of being sloshed when the company came over. Only to realize I needed to get drunk to deal with the company. 

2. Wrap the presents as they come. That late night Santa rally shit is for the birds. 

3. If you have to work the next day, call out. I’m at work now on 23% like a bad iPhone charger. 

4. Don’t pig out. Listen there is going to be food fucking everywhere just relax. I had a burger for the first time in 6 months as a Christmas “gift”. They gift keep on giving until the next morning. You ain’t eat it last week what makes this week so special? Stick to carbs to soak up your alcohol when you get drunk. 

5. FaceTime people early, get it over with. I love talking to my family but we all are early risers. My homeboy hit my at like 3pm...naw son. 

6. Lastly, take the time to get thankful and grateful. It’s in the 20s right now and someone is sleeping outside as I type this sentence. Help them and stop complaining about your fucking issues. You’ll be alright tonight when you go home and lay in your nice warm bed.